untitled

if you are a passionate person, and can't help but care for others and go an extra mile for a friend's sake
you will be most probably accused of having no self-esteem or pride.
or you will be held as fool
and you will be abused
you will feel drained
you will regret your gesture in 90% of the time
you will have some people talking some sense into your head.
you will have many people questioing your intentions
you will have very very few people believe in you
you will have very very very few people returning your gestures

you dont need to change.
just be grateful for the gift you have.

Allah's gift

Today I came across a family, who has been blessed with a mongolian child. the boy is about 17 years old, acting like a child of 3 or 4 years.
as I was looking at them while they walk past me, I found myself praying for them, may Allah give them the strength to cope with him, grant them with power to love him and care for him.
and i also found myself thanking Allah for not putting me in such a harsh situation. I adore children, always wished to have a dozen of my own.But I don't know if i would ever be able to cope with such a child, without me breaking down for seeing my child live this life.
Allahoma lak elhamd.

I also thanked Allah for giving me a healthy nephew. it is one of his gifts and blessings I would never be able to thank him enough for it.
Allahoma lak elhamd.

Today I saw with my own eyes the meaning of "be greatful for what you have and what is kept away from you".
Allahoma lak elhamd

Wooden Bowls

when i first read this story, it made me cry.it reminded me of my father at his last days, when he couldn't hold anything.
then i smiled, remembering his warm smile when we came for help.
he was such a tough patient, however he heartly enjoyed the intensive attention of his 4 ladies :)

A frail old man lived with his son, his daughter-in-law, and his four-year-old grandson. His eyes were blurry, his hands trembled, and his step faltered.
The family would eat together nightly at the dinner table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating rather difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon, drooping to the floor. When he grasped his glass of milk, it often spilled clumsily at the tablecloth.

With this happening almost every night, the son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.
"We must do something about grandfather," said the son.
"I've had enough of his milk spilling, noisy eating and food on the floor," the daughter-in-law agreed.
So the couple set a small table at the corner.

There, grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed their dinner at the dinner table. Since grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in wooden bowls. Sometimes when the family glanced in grandfather's direction, he had a tear in his eye as he ate alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening, before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly: "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy replied, "Oh, I'm making a little bowl for you and mama to eat your food from when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

These words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears streamed down their cheeks. Though no words were spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening, the husband took grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table.

For the remainder of his days, grandfather ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk was spilled or the table cloth was soiled.

With very special thanks to our friend Catherine Cruz for sharing this story with us.

Just for today

Just for today, devote one hour to something that really matters to you.there might be no tomorrow to do so.

Natural Hights

Take a few minutes and read these. Think about  them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one.........IT DOES MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD especially the thought at the end.
I marked the ones i love mostely with red and added my personal part between brackets.
you are mostly welcome to do the same and share with us :), or even better- add your own "Natural hights" to the list

Falling in love.

Laughing so hard your face hurts.

A hot shower.

A special glance. (saying anything that only me would understand)

Getting mail.

Taking a drive on a pretty road.

Hearing your favorite song on the radio.  (i can never resist a song for Halim in Radio or TV)

Lying in bed listening to the rain outside. (the next thing to do is jump out of bed, to the balcony and catch rain drops with my hands)

Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.

Chocolate milkshake. (love making them when my cousin's son visits me and we share it)

A long distance phone call (Bernd never fails to surprise me in this regard. i never know when he will call)

A bubble bath.

Giggling. (when i do something naughty and mom can't stop yelling at me) 

A good conversation.

The beach. (I am pure Cancerian. beach is my home)

Finding a $20 bill in your coat from last winter.

Laughing at yourself.

Midnight phone calls that last for hours.

Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.

Friends. (they are a treasure i can never afford to loose.very carefully selected & simply part of my soul)

Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you (it gives me a lift to my self-confidence beacue i know that it is sincere, honest and meant)

Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep. (a heavenly feeling at a cold winter morning)

Making new friends or spending time with old ones

Playing with a new puppy.

Having someone play with your hair.

Sweet dreams.

Hot chocolate. (I am a hopeless case chocoholic)

Road trips with friends.

Swinging on swings. (i just cant resist.no matters where or wiht whom i am, i just take a ride)

Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing along without feeling stupid.

Going to a really good concert.

Winning a really competitive game.

Making chocolate chip cookies.(love baking & cooking and then watching others enjoy eating the food) 

Having your friends send you homemade cookies.

Spending time with close friends. (a treasure i can never thank allah enough for)

Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.(it's when happiness & laughter are being doubled by sharing)

Holding hands with someone you care about.(the most intensive way to feel secure)

Running into an old friend and realizing that some things never change.

Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you. (giving is a joy in itself)

Watching the sunrise.

Getting out of bed every morning and thanking God for another beautiful day.

Just for today

Just for today, cultivate the virtue of benevolence and be like the sun that shines for all without taking anything in return.

Wish to be like that one day :)

El Aar- The Shame

I am not a fan of TV series, and never follow any especially in Ramadan.
Qadaran, I got to watch few episodes of this series.
The number of evil actions and thinking way in this series scared me, but what scared me more was the way Allah's hand has taken revenge from those evil people.
it is not just a TV series, it is more the revenge or giving back the rights to those who were hurt.
the concept of allah's hand keeping the justice in this world - although i always believed in it- shook me to the roots.
Dear Lord, dont ever let me hurt anyone, for i fear your revenge.
and if i do it - i am human afterall - please forgive me and let them forgive me, before it is too late for me to come back to your correct path.
Dear Lord, I am forgiving those who have hurt me - throughout my life. and You are hereby my witness- for i hope if i ever hurt someone, they would forgive me too.
Dear Lord, as much as i hoped for your justice, as much as it scares me how it can destroy a weak human soul.
Grant us all your mercy and help us to overcome the evil in us.
Amen

Remember

I received this as attachment to an email from a friend. I found it a kind reminder to me, to remember this simple, yet very important fact:

"Kind actions never die,

cruel actions are never forgotten,

the debtor never dies

so be and act the way you wish,

you are the debtor today and have a right

tomorrow you are the creditor and have to pay your debts back"

Today I want to try being a good person, caring for my family and friends and not hurting anyone because tomorrow i want my conscious to be clear when I stand in front of Allah (SWT) with no shame on my face.

Ya rab, never give me the power to hurt anyone, never let me be cruel to someone, never put egoism and arrogance in my heart.

Ya rab.

just for today

Just for today, smile at someone you are not really fond of.
just for today, smile at a stranger
just for today, smile at a needy person while giving him money or food or whatever.
just for today, don't hurt anyone around you - no matters how "low" they are.
just for today, send someone a virtual flower.
just for today, make someone really really happy
just for today, give others some warmth
just for today, share someone else's pain
just for today, be friendly and gentle when talking to those arround you.
just for today, ask your subordinates to do their work in a kind way.
just for today, think of those who you haven't called in a while and check on them.
just for today, say "thank you" with a warm and sincere smile to the doorman who cleans your car.

just for today, BE HUMAN.

Dreaming.....

Dreaming of a better tomorrow, when I feel trapped in my today.
Dreaming of love, when I miss it in my life.
Dreaming of kindness, when others are cruel and mean to me.
Dreaming of sun's warmth and shine, when I am buried in cold and ugly surroundings.
Dreaming of laughter, when my tears silently roll down my cheeks every night.
Dreaming of happiness, when i can't remember last time i felt content.
Dreaming of flowers, while going through my deserted path in life.
Dreaming of life, when people around me see me as a dead person.
Dreaming of honesty, when my ears are showered with lies.
Dreaming of hope, when i feel just "hopeless"
Dreaming of success, when someone tells me how a mess I am.
Dreaming of a life as a human being, when someone treats me as a rock.

I will never stop dreaming.

It is the only weapon that none can take away from me
It is the only way for not to be beaten.
My dreams keep me alive.Those who don't dream, are the dead ones :)

I dream of the day, when...... (by Abdel Halim Hafez)

I dream, and dream and dream
hopefully my dreams would come true
hopefully they will become true in every single minute
I dream of the day when everyone would talk only in a kind way
I dream of the day when none gets ever hurt
I dream of the day when everyone's life path is only filled by everlasting happiness
I dream of the day when future brings only happiness and joy to all humans
I dream of the day when I see it with my own eyes how life pays back those who were badly hurt
I dream of the day when I see lost, lonly hearts have finally found their happiness
I dream of the day when I see everyone found a home for his heart.
I dream of the day when I see those whose hopes were shattered, finally find back their smiles
I dream of the day when I see this whole world is enlightend by happiness shine
I dream of the day when I see an everlasting, shining fullmoon.

A tall soul in God's garden

I came across this story as I was surfing the internet tonight. it touched me and I thought of sharing.
Author Unknown


Our house was directly across the street from the clinic entrance of Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. We lived downstairs and rented the upstairs rooms to out patients at the clinic.

One summer evening as I was fixing supper, there was a knock at the door. I opened it to see a truly awful looking man. "Why, he's hardly taller than my eight-year-old," I thought as I stared at the stooped, shriveled body. But the appalling thing was his face, lopsided from swelling, red and raw.
Yet his voice was pleasant as he said, "Good evening. I've come to see if you've a room for just one night. I came for a treatment this morning from the eastern shore, and there's no bus 'til morning."
He told me he'd been hunting for a room since noon but with no success, no one seemed to have a room. "I guess it's my face... I know it looks terrible, but my doctor says with a few more treatments..."

For a moment I hesitated, but his next words convinced me: "I could sleep in this rocking chair on the porch. My bus leaves early in the morning."
I told him we would find him a bed, but to rest on the porch. I went inside and finished getting supper. When we were ready, I asked the old man if he would join us. "No thank you. I have plenty." And he held up a brown paper bag.

When I had finished the dishes, I went out on the porch to talk with him a few minutes. It didn't take a long time to see that this old man had an oversized heart crowded into that tiny body. He told me he fished for a living to support his daughter, her five children, and her husband, who was hopelessly crippled from a back injury.
He didn't tell it by way of complaint; in fact, every other sentence was preface with a thanks to God for a blessing. He was grateful that no pain accompanied his disease, which was apparently a form of skin cancer. He thanked God for giving him the strength to keep going.
At bedtime, we put a camp cot in the children's room for him.

When I got up in the morning, the bed linens were neatly folded and the little man was out on the porch.
He refused breakfast, but just before he left for his bus, haltingly, as if asking a great favor, he said, Could I please come back and stay the next time I have a treatment? I won't put you out a bit. I can sleep fine in a chair." He paused a moment and then added, "Your children made me feel at home. Grownups are bothered by my face, but children don't seem to mind." I told him he was welcome to come again.

And on his next trip he arrived a little after seven in the morning.
As a gift, he brought a big fish and a quart of the largest oysters I had ever seen. He said he had shucked them that morning before he left so that they'd be nice and fresh. I knew his bus left at 4:00 a.m. and I wondered what time he had to get up in order to do this for us.

In the years he came to stay overnight with us there was never a time that he did not bring us fish or oysters or vegetables from his garden.
Other times we received packages in the mail, always by special delivery; fish and oysters packed in a box of fresh young spinach or kale, every leaf carefully washed. Knowing that he must walk three miles to mail these, and knowing how little money he had made the gifts doubly preciou s.

When I received these little remembrances, I often thought of a comment our next-door neighbor made after he left that first morning.

"Did you keep that awful looking man last night? I turned him away! You can lose roomers by putting up such people!"
Maybe we did lose roomers once or twice. But oh! If only they could have known him, perhaps their illnesses would have been easier to bear.
I know our family always will be grateful to have known him; from him we learned what it was to accept the bad without complaint and the good with gratitude to God.

All this happened long ago - and now, in God's garden, how tall this lovely soul must stand.

to: You

I know you will not read this letter. you dont know how to read, and you dont understand this language.
but still, i need to write it.
I know it will not reach you, i don't have your adress to send it
but still, i need to write it.
you don't know how to read anyway.

whatever you think of me:less, bad, old, ugly, poor- it doesn't mean that i am no longer human.
no matters how low you see me, you have no right to hurt me.

throughout the time I have known you, you were harsh on me for no obvious reason.
I spent hours trying to find an excuse for your behaviour.
my heart always came to your rescue, when my mind would shut you out.
you never noticed they existed.

a lie after the other was forgiven. you never saw that sad look in my eyes.
a stab after the other was hidden. you never saw me bleeding.
harsh move after the other was tolerated. you never noticed i am human and have feelings.
cruelness with me, gentleness with others. a bitterness in my throat you know nothing about.
few moments of feeling safe and happy followed by an unexpected stab in my back-to keep me bleeding for years.
few said words, sending me to the 7th sky are usually an intro to a long lasting wound.

Why?

A water bottle

As summer is slowly approaching us and temperature would be rising during the coming weeks, I would like to share with you all a small action of kindness, to start our day with.

Every night before you go to bed put a bottle of water in your freezer -to turn into ice bottle- to take with you early next morning on your way to work.

On your way, give the water bottle to any of our traffic-soldiers, street cleaners, freelance sellers or street children.

During the day as it gets hot, the ice would melt and offer those who have it a cold zip of water.
you can not imagine how heavenly this small zip of water tastes in a temperature of 40+ C, and the relief you could be giving to them.

Simple, small kind action that won't cost you anything but some minor effort and thinking of others.

The credit of this kind action goes to my dear friend Shady Eneim.
Thank you Shady :)

Be kind......be human

There is nothing wrong to be kind. in words or actions.
be kind with those who can do you absolutely no good.

be kind with those who are weak.

be kind when you scream at someone for a mistake he did.

be kind when you punish someone, it's ok to make mistakes.

be kind when you can't forgive someone- dont kill him. he is only human.

be kind when you spread seeds today, they will be the harvest you have tomorrow.

be kind to your soul, dont turn it to an ugly soul

be kind to flowers, they will -gladly- give you their odeur.

be kind to your house, it will offer you the warmth you need in a shelter.

be kind to the sun, moon and stars. they will shine better when you do.

be kind to yourself. you deserve it.

be kind....be human

untitled

If i am cruel, I will live.
If i am bad, i might survive
If i am human, i will die.
what is wrong with being human?

question

what is wrong with wishing for some happiness?

No appropriate title

I had a problem finding a title for this post. feel so angry and frustrated and mad at a man, unfortunately someone I know well.
I met his "first" wife at a special occasion few days ago, and by end of our evening together I found myself wishing to see him to tell him exactely what i think of him- nothing positive or good at all.

She is a beautiful, elegant, very well educated lady, at her mid 40s, decending from one of Egypt's best families, has her own inheritence, active member at some NGO's, mother of 3 beautiful and very well raised kids: daughter and 2 sons.

She looked so sad during the whole evening, but was bravely trying to hide it. yet her beautiful eyes showed this deeply rooted sadness.
I approached her talking about different topics, just general issues- when she accidently told me that her husband is staying "at the other house" tonight. its thursday, you know......

for few seconds i wasn't able to say anything, i simply found nothing to say to comfort her.
she looked hurt and sad. very deep.
I thought oh God, her wound didnt heal yet. she is still hurt from his betrayel, when he years ago married his secretary behind her back and kept on decieving her for years....
I guess such wound would never heal.
I wanted to hug her and apologize for being his relative. I literally felt guilty, I dont know why.
maybe because i dont want to be realted to someone as cruel as he is?
or maybe because i can not "punish" him for what he did to her?

Why the hell would he need to secretely marry another woman? what is he missing in his wife? why didnt he tell her before he marries that other woman? why was he a coward to do it behind her back all those years, until it was "fact of life" and she had to accept it in this humiliating way?

I am not discussing the concept of having more than one wife, which is one of solid rules/concepts of Islam, nor am I condemning him for his second marriage.
All I am saying here is THIS way is badly hurting an innocent person- in this case his first wife- who has every right to be fully aware of all arrangements, legally and officially informed of the second marriage and approving in written.
In this case here, the incident was completely different. it was a secret marriage, big sum of money paid to the other woman (!!!), everything taking place in complete darkness for years, until it became a fact of their life, which his wife HAS to accept and deal with.

isnt this process more like a robery or smuggling or illeagal doing?
isnt it unfair towards a woman, who did nothing but trusted her husband enough not to humilate her this way?
isnt it a shaking incident for anyone's life?
Isn't this clear betrayel to someone's trust?
how would I ever trust someone not to hurt me this way, after years of settling down and having a stable family?
I can not forget that sad look in her eyes, and can not find any proper excuse for hurting her this way.
All i can feel here is stab in my back. does anyone deserves to be treated like that?
why? for just being a woman?

Is it a man's right to treat his wife this way, just because he is a man?
this is not Islam, what is it then? traditions? culture? human nature? weakness?
pure male nature?

I dont want to be a woman, I want to be a man.

Some happy moments...

One of my lady-relatives was getting married on Friday. she is divorced since 2 years now.
we-her female relatives- wanted to held a 7ennah party for her, when we told her about the idea, she was very excited as she didnt have one at her "first marriage".

We faced only one problem: what will the bride's mother tell her neighbours about that party? how come her daughter is having this party, while this is her second marraige?

3eib ya welad, maysa7esh keda wallahi.
we were surprised that we don't have the right to celebrate in our own home.
Me personally, refused to acknowledge such an argument, and insisted on going there and keeping all arrangements as they are.
to hell with everyone arround, we are not doing anything worng!!!!

Anyway, we girls agreed on everything, planed catering, the 7ennah lady, gathered some cheerul songs on my laptop, some dancing music, and decided to held that party on Thursday night.
There were about 15 ladies at the bride's home, we got everything ready as planed and we were all so happy about it.
She had such a bright smile, and was practically shining from happiness. It is a new expereince for her afterall.

Why has everyone became so cruel and boring?
Why would neighbours, friends, or even family members has anything against a small celebration, when we are not causing any problems?
Why shouldn't a divorced lady "feel" happy if she is getting married again?
who said a divorced lady is not entitled to celebrate?
Why has everyone arround a word to say in something as private and personal as this?
Why has our world turned to be so cruel?
Why aren't we entitled to enjoy our lives, even very few and rare moments of this dry and cruel life we have now?
Why do we give others the right to kill any happiness in our lives? even if it is small ones?
are we really THAT stupid, or have we turned to be copies of those living arround us, or have we given up on our right to live and be happy - for few moments?

what is wrong with spending some happy moments?

what you choose to plant....

I came across these quotes, while I was going through my diaries of school and college times. I used to write down quotes i read anywhere, because I just love and learn from them.

and after all those years I wish that some day I will see the reward of what I have planted.

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant."

Robert Louis Stevenson

"Your mind is like a garden. If you plant seeds of love, compassion, truth and integrity, then you reap the rewards. If you choose not to plant anything, then weeds will overrun your garden; the weeds of hate, anger, negative thoughts and actions."

Barry Gottleib

http://www.freenaturepictures/

cure is possible

few months ago i read a comment over a post, which was published over Dr. Mohamed Aly's blog, where one of his readers commented that he is gay, but never wanted to be.

the reader has wrote that he was pushed to go into this "direction", but never really wanted to be one, and that he was feeling bad and guilty about what he is doing and suffering from others' perception of his "doing"

this article was published in Al-Ahram newspaper on friday 30th October 2009- barid al ahram. a reply from Dr. Heba Kotb, sexual treatment specialist- replying to a man, who is suffering from "sick sexual orientation" - as he called it in his correspondence to the page's editor.

first paragraph of Dr. Heba's reply states clearly that 80% such "illness" is a direct result of child abuse: rape and/or father's aggressiveness, which makes this person hate being a male, feeling deep down that he belongs to the opposite sex, which then results to switching his interest to a male.

Dr. heba further explains that she has treated many cases, where the patients lost hope in being "normal" again, and never knew this was a kind of ill behaviour due to outside reasons, not his own choice.

The article was interesting for me, as i still remember the reader's comment at dr. Mohamed's blog- and back then i really wished i could help.

I am not judging any personal behviour or habit of anyone who chooses any certain path in his/her life. No, this is personal freedom, which i fully respect and never thought of judging or approaching.as long as anyone is convinced with what s/he does, is perfectly fine with me. i respect it.as long as it is a personal CHOICE, i have nothing against it, not even consciously discussing it.

actually my words only adress those who have been victims of child abuse or have had a hard life as they were young. those who want to change where they are now, and wish to be back to "themselves".

curing from such illness is possible and success percentage - as per dr. Heba's statement in an offiicial newspaper is up to 99%.

the curing road is long- as she stated- hard, but not impossible. and this is the important part.
as long as one hopes to cure, as long as one believes in his right to have an acceptable, normal life- everything will go according to your will.

I am sharing the info and hope that one day someone would benefit of it, and be back to him/herself.
wish i could do more to help out, but this is all i can do for the time being.
please whoever reads this post, spread the news, you never know, you could be saving someone from suffering for the rest of his/her life.
may god bless us all with health and happiness.