About love

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

Interesting quote of someone, i didn't find his/her name at the website.

it just caught my attention and thought of sharing.

محاولاتٌ لقتل امرأةٍ لا تُقْتَل

باءت كل محاولاتي بالفشل يا سيدي. هاهي حبيبتي مازلت تحيا في قلبي. إكتشفتها صدفة حين كنت أفتش عن شئ كان يؤرقني و لست أعرف ما هو.

وجدتها ترقد في إحدى حنايا القلب، ساكنة، تنظر اليَ و تتعجب كيف وجدتها.كانت تختبئ مني هناك، وأنا الذي ظننت أني أقتلعتها من قلبي منذ سنوات. تكلمنا كثيرا، و رجعت كل الذكريات تمر أمام عيني. و وجدتها لا تزال تؤثر فيَ و تحركني.

قلت لها : رجاء سيدتي، إرحلي عني لست أريد هواك. لقد تبت عن العشق، و ها أنا ذا "أنظف" قلبي من بقايكن.

نظرت في عينيَ كأنها تبحث عن شئ، ثم ما لبثت أن ابتسمت ابتسامة رقيقة و قالت "أنا أمامك. أقتلني لتستريح. لن أختبئ بعد الآن".

قالت بصوتها الرقيق هامسة لي: " بعد رحيلي حاول أن تجد من تسعدك. و لكن لا تحبها كما أحببتني. تعقَل في حبك

أشكرك على النصيحة الغالية. و لكني تبت عن العشق.

أتعدني؟

نعم. أعدك. لن أعشق امرأة بعد الآن. لقد أعلنت توبتي و أستغفرت لذنبي. و أظنها قوبلت - توبتي أعني.

رأيتها تتلاشى، كأنها طيف و رأيت قلبي بعدها فارغا، لا شئ فيه. مكانها أصبح خالياً.

و لكن لم أحس بهذه المرارة؟ من أين يجئ الألم؟ ألم أقتلها؟

و سمعت صوتك يا سيدي نزار تتلو هذه الأبيات. لكأنك تتلوها عليَ؟

وعدتُكِ..

أنْ لا أعودَ .. وعُدْتْ..

وأنْ لا أموتَ اشتياقاً..

ومُتّ..

وعدتُ بأشياءَ أكبرَ منّي

فماذا بنفسي فعلتْ؟

لقد كنتُ أكذبُ من شدّة الصدقِ،

والحمدُ للهِ أنّي كذبتْ....

أبداً يا سيدي، لقد تبت. تبت عن العشق، و تعلمت العقل.

و تذكرت أبتسامتك لي يا سيدي و أنت تقول " يا ولدي، الحب أعظم هبات السماء"

شكرا بلقيس ..... ما عدت أتمنى لقائك

سيدي، ما عدت أتمنى لقائها. بلقيس.

رأيتها تلهو في أشعارك، و تنثر شذاها على أوراقك فتمنيت لقائها.

تمنيت أن التقي بامراءة مثلها. تكون لي كما كانت هي لك. غرت من سعادتك و تمنيت حبها.

تمنيت الدفء و الطمأنينة و راحة القلب بين يديها..

و عشت أحلم بامراة تملأ قلبي بالحب

إمراة تمس روحي بأناملها الرقيقة فتطيب جراحها و تنسيها الآم السنين الماضيات.

ولكني لم أجدها.

ثم قرأت رثاءك لها.

فوجدتني أتساءل من منا الأوفر حظا؟

من قابل بلقيس و عاش أياما من عمره روحا يملؤها حب جارف،

    أم من لم يقابلها و لم يعرف قلبه مرارة الفراق بعد اللقاء؟

من منا الأوفر حظا يا سيدي نزار؟

على يقين من اجابتك. الحب يا ولدي أعظم هبات السماء.

الحب في زمانك مختلف.

كنت شجاعا، قويا، نقيا و لذلك جاء حبك مثل صفاتك. و جاءت بلقيس كما تتمناها.

أما الآن، يا سيدي نزار، فالحب ضعيفا، هشا، تكسره رياح غبية.

و القلوب واهية، ضائعة ما بين حب الذات و حب زائف.

و الروح باتت تائهة .

جربت الحب على طريقتك يا سيدي فما جنيت غير السخرية.

الحب في زماننا تحكمه الأيام و مصير القلوب الحرة هو السجن داخل أسوار عالية

-أسوار صنعها سجان مات قلبه يوم مولده، ما عرف يوما أن بلقيس ملكة حرة، كريمة لا تسجن.

لست أطيق السجن و لا الأسوار العالية.

لست أطيق غباء القلوب و هزال المشاعر من حولي

و لذلك أرجو المعذرة ، سيدي نزار- فلم أعد أتمنى لقائها.

و أما عن مشاعري التي ربيتها، سيدي، فستبقى حرة تنتظر لقاءك.

و دمت لي.

الأمضاء

عاشق تائب

ذا كنت تعاني من هذه الأشياء فأنت تحب

عندما نحب
نشعر بأننا خلقنا من جديد و ولدنا من جديد

عندما نحب
تتغير نظرتنا للأشياء و يتغير تفكيرنا في الأشياء و يتغير إحساسنا بالأشياء

عندما نحب
نحلم بصوت مسموع و نشتاق بصوت مسموع

عندما نحب

نحب الليل كثيراً و نحب السهر كثيراً و نحب القمر كثيراً

عندما نحب
يصبح للورد أهمية أكبر و يصبح للبريد أهمية أكبر و يصبح للهاتف أهمية أكبر

عندما نحب
نفهم الحياة أكثر ، نفهم أنفسنا أكثر و نفهم الآخرين أكثر

عندما نحب
نحب بلا حدود و نحلم بلا حدود و نشتاق بلا حدود

عندما نحب
تصبح لدينا هوايات جديدة و إبداعات جديدة و اهتمامات جديدة

عندما نحب
نغيّر عاداتنا السيئة و نغيّر و نغيّر

عندما نحب
نختار عطورنا بدقة و ننتقي ملابسنا بعناية و نطيل الوقوف أمام المرآة

عندما نحب
تتغير أصواتنا و تتغير أذواقنا و تتغير أحلامنا

عندما نحب
نفرح بلا سبب و نبكي بلا سبب و نحزن بلا سبب

عندما نحب
نفكر كثيراّ و نتمنى كثيراّ و نخاف كثيراّ

عندما نحب
نسترجع صورهم و نسترجع أصواتهم و نسترجع مواقفهم معنا

عندما نحب
نكتب الرسائل باهتمام و نتفنن في ترتيب الحروف و نتردد في ترتيب الحروف

عندما نحب
يصبح للكلمة ثقلها و للحظة وزنها و للفرحة طعمها

عندما نحب
نرسم الخطط و نفتعل الصدف و نشكر الظروف

عندما لا نحب

نتمنى أن نحب



Nights in Rodanthe

"She believed that romance and passion were possible at any age, but she'd listened to enough of her friends to know that many relationships ended upbeing more trouble than they were worth.
Adrienne didn't want to settle for a husband like the ones her friends had".

"my dad came to save me......
when things are hard, as they are for me, fall back on the knowledge that not only would he have done the same thing for you that he did for me, but because of you, I was given the chance to get to know and love my dad."

Reading this novel for Nicholas Sparks, i came across a very rare type of love: a love that was born, developed and lasted a lifelong within few days.
A love going so deep into a soul of two persons, changing them, changing the view they saw their lives in, changing their feelings towards their future, keeping them to go on through tough time and for many years after.

it touched me, despite its sad end, in a way I felt this story must be true, none could make such a story. it seemed soo alive and real to me.
I always hoped to find such a love, and wondered if it is better to live a normal life, with no complications in my important areas - or I would appreciate finding a soul-deep love, lasting for some time and cause me a lifelong yearning and a satisfaction as well.
I found myself going for the second option. I am willing to accept a love that would touch my soul, even if it is not meant to be for a life rather than living a complication-less, normal life.
As hard as this choice seems to me, as satisfactory it is for the kind of person I am.
I might not meet this very special someone, however I would still stick to my choice :)

جُبنٌ ألا تختاري

إني خيرتُكِ فاختاري
ما بينَ الموتِ على صدري أو فوقَ دفاترِ أشعاري
إختاري الحبَّ.. أو اللاحبَّ  فجُبنٌ ألا تختاري
لا توجدُ منطقةٌ وسطى  ما بينَ الجنّةِ والنار
إرمي أوراقكِ كاملةً وسأرضى عن أيِّ قرارِ
قولي. إنفعلي. إنفجري  لا تقفي مثلَ المسمار
لا يمكنُ أن أبقى أبداً  كالقشّةِ تحتَ الأمطارِ
إختاري قدراً بين اثنينِ وما أعنفَها أقداري..

مُرهقةٌ أنتِ.. وخائفةٌ وطويلٌ جداً.. مشواري
غوصي في البحرِ.. أو ابتعدي ..لا بحرٌ من غيرِ دوارِ..
الحبُّ مواجهةٌ كبرى إبحارٌ ضدَّ التيارِ
صَلبٌ.. وعذابٌ.. ودموعٌ ورحيلٌ بينَ الأقمارِ

يقتُلني جبنُكِ يا امرأة تتسلى من خلفِ ستارِ
إني لا أؤمنُ في حب لا يحملُ نزقَ الثوار
لا يكسرُ كلَّ الأسوارِ لا يضربُ مثلَ الإعصارِ..
آهٍ.. لو حبُّكِ يبلعُني ...يقلعُني.. مثلَ الإعصارِ..

إنّي خيرتك.. فاختاري
ما بينَ الموتِ على صدري أو فوقَ دفاترِ أشعاري
لا توجدُ منطقةٌ وسطى  ما بينَ الجنّةِ والنّارِ

When you love someone

When you have very special feelings for someone

tell them they are missed.
call and check on them
go visit
send flowers
write them an email
send an ecard
buy them a small gift
invite them over lunch/dinner/coffee or even a bottle of water
drive to their home just to "see" it
get them your favourite chocolate and tell them you wished they'd taste it.
download their favourite music, put it on CD and give to them
pop up unexpectedly at their office to say "Hi, i just wanted to check on you" in 2 minutes.
drive them home, to save them the hassle
send them a funny email, jokes, touching story or some caring words "just to stay in touch"
give a hand at hard times at work -if you can- to take off some load off their shoulder.
be the warmth they long to at a cold winter day
be the smile they look for when life is dark
be the gentle hand to tab on their shoulder, when life slaps them on their face
be the heart, feeling their pain-hidden behind the mask they wear
be the caring hand to gently touch their cheeks telling "everything will be allright again"
be the secure, tight hug, when they are lost.
be the loving partner/friend/sister/brother/mother/father - depends on what they need right now.
be the loving eye, seeing the whole picture, yet reflecting only the beauty in them.
be the gentle understanding of all their imperfections, faults, and mistakes,
be the reassuring tender smile, telling them  how much you love it all
get them an extremely expensive gift, to tell them what words couldnt express

When there is nothing more to do, just pack your things and ......
leave.

Don't let these moments slip away

My dear friend Barry just posted something lovely as always.
please check this link.
I promise you a quality time of reading :)
Barry, you are a treasure :)

http://life-in-quotations.blogspot.com/2010/07/on-valentines-day-2002-katie.html?

The Art of Living

when i read this story in Friday's weekly newspaper "Al Ahram" i had mixed feelings: happy for them, enjoying what i read, wondering if there is still someone like that & this is not a fairy tale and wishing to experience the same happiness, by getting to learn "the art of living".

it is a young woman telling her life story, as she got married through the traditional way to someone, which appeared suitable for her.
there is no love story behind their marriage-as she said- giving no expectations of any extra happiness. it would be just a normal life, with all its daily routines as many people around.

Yet, as she started her life with her husband, he surprised her with his gentleness, tenderness and his life-loving-spirit, and his enjoying of small, simple things- which life offers all of us- and made her see everything in a different, joyful light.
He surprised her with small things she used to love, but never told him about. he was asking her friends and family about what she likes, and held the info until he could surprise her with them :)

As she was pregnant with their first child, he used to lock himself up to do something secretly, which she didn't understand at the beginning. it was just unlike him.
he never worked at home- home is for family and fun and life only.
yet during these days he seemed to be busy with something. she kept on checking on him until she found out:
he is reading a book which explains what a woman goes through during pregnancy, so that he understands and support her in a better way!!!!!

additionally, he has a great sense of humor, which he uses to simplify life's complications and make them bearable. often- she says- middle in a discussion i find myself laughing about his jokes and forget the problem we were discussing.
his simple and comfortable soul made their life easier than it could be with all difficult situations they faced, and made her feel safe and secure.

when they were facing financial troubles, he never made a great deal of it, but tried to easy things for them, and made her and their son enjoy their moments with the simplest things. when they can't afford a day out, he made his son some funny looking sandwiches to cheer him up.
at the times they could afford an outing, their son preferred to stay home and enjoy dad's nicely-looking sandwiches :).
their son inherited the sense of loving life and is as easy going as his father.

She said that as they got engaged he was just a suitable candidate, who could make her happy. but as days passed and she got to know him, all she could think of everyday is how to make this man happy, how to give him back part of his love and care. and not only him, but she got "infected" with his life-loving soul and continuously trying to make others happy, with whatever simple things she has in her hand. he has taught her how to enjoy life with simple things, and add joy to every day's tasks. he taught her the art of living.

What really touched me in this story are mainly 2 things:

- the husband's love and care for his wife, cherishing her, wanting to make her happy- even if he doesnt have a fortune. he just gave what he have: love and care- shown in simple actions.

- the wife's appreciation of her husband care and love, not taking it for granted, enjoying his simple loving gestures and supporting him by adopting his way in enjoying simple life.
how many times have we wasted diamonds, just because we were too busy collecting stones.

this is what the lesson this couple is giving us :)))))

The editor's comment was touching as well. wishing them a long life full of happiness and love, encouraging her to keep on the positive thinking and life-loving spirit- as well as admitting that her husband must be a very special and rare person.

May Allah bless her small family with love, happiness and the 'Art of living'.

قمة الحب

قمة الحب أن تمنح من تحبه الأمان و أنت لا تملكه لنفسك.
قمة الحب عندما يصير من تحب جزء منك، فلا تملك الا أن تسامحه على أي شئ، فكيف تعاقب بضعا من نفسك
قمة الحب أن يصير من تحب هو أنت. فكيف تنتقم لجرحك من قطعة منك؟
قمة الحب أن يصير من تحب هو روحك. فكيف تعاقب من قتلك، فان هلك هو- هلكت.
قمة الحب أن تعطي من تحب قلبك و أنت تعلم أنه سيضيعه
قمة الحب أن تحب لا لأن من تحب قويا، عزيزا، و لكن لأن من تحب هو ذاك الطفل البرئ
قمة الحب أن تحمي براءته و تدافع عن قلبه الرقيق و تبعد الخوف عن عالمه الصغير- و تتنسى أن تحمي نفسك أنت
قمة الحب أن تحب و أنت ترى كل العيوب و بالرغم من ذلك تحب
قمة الحب أن تحب من ترى ضعفه و قيلة حيلته فتكون له السند و الحماية و الأمان و المأوى.
قمة الحب أن تعطي من تحب من روحك، فاذا أخذها و ذهب، بقيت وحيدا تدعو له بالسعادة
قمة الحب أن تستمع له و هو يحكي عن امرأة أحبته، و أخرى طاردته، و ثالثة جرحته- فلا تقوى على كرهه بل تدعو الله أن يسعده
قمة الحب أن تحب بالرغم من الألم و الغدر و الجرح و العذاب
لأن من تحبه هو ذاك الصغير الجميل البرئ الشقي
هو ذاك الحنون
هو ذاك الدافئ
هو ذاك الرقيق
هو ذاك الضعيف
هو ذاك التائه
 
قمة الحب أن تحب و أنت ترى أخطاء من تحب، فتحبه أكثر و تغفر له أي ذنب و كل ذنب
و حين يعود للذنب، تحبه أنت أكثر
لأن من تحب هو انسان عادي
 
 

I miss him so much....

Not counting how many years since he is gone, i lost track of time anyway. but i feel it's been very long since he left, and I am getting impatient.
I dont know why i feel that he will come back. I know he won't. but i still wait for him to come back.
the world has turned into an ugly place since he left.
When people talk, i search for honesty in their words, but know that  mostly they are lieing.
None dares to be honest, they are all cowards.
people arround me use big words, while they are nothing but shallow figures
haven't seen acting in a proud way since ever
A song has no deep feelings any more
Language has turned into a superficial usage of words lined together. no depth or imaginary.
I close my eyes and fly to his world, to escape the one i live in.
I say his words to feel beauty on my lips
I listen to his recorded interviews to feel him there
I read his poems to feel warm, to reconnect with my soul
i read his poems every night before falling asleep to feel some warmth in me.

I miss the passion, warmth, weakness, honesty, openness, beauty, tenderness, strength, love, creativity, life- i miss all what he gave.
I miss him so much
I miss Nizar Qabbany so much.
I know he will not come back.
I know he is dead
But i miss him so much
And hope his soul rests in peace with his beloved wife Belqais

A dream

Waking up, she remembered this will be a long day. busy, full of things to do, but there will be loads of fun kaman.
kissed her husband good morning, pulling the curtains aside - sunshine filled the room. good the kids will have fun today :)

Smilingly she went to the kids room, shook her 5 years old son Adham to wake him up, gave him a kiss and hugged him back. Went to Laila's bed, the 3 years old girl stirred, smiled and drifted back to sleep. tayeb, i will come later to get her.

Her husband sat sipping his coffee, when Adham came in, looked at her with his huge eyes: Mummy, Laila doesnt want to wake up.
That's ok, love. i will go get her. he smiled back thinking, good then i will not be the only one to wake up so early.
she loved his smile. got it from his father. he is a small profile of her husband.
how much she loved both of them :)

coming back with Laila, her husband was about to leave. he gave them a hug altogether and left.

Today the boys and girls from the orphanage will spend the day at her home. she has prepared the garden and the pool for them to use.
Most of them were of Adham's age, he knows almost everyone, and would enjoy having them around. so everyone will have fun today :)

the bus arrived, kids jumped out smiling excitedly about their day out. their eyes were filled with laughter, all talking to her at the same time - and surprisingly she got it all :))
they started moving and playing. some went to the pool with their teachers and just jumped in there. Adham followed them of course, while Laila was slowly walking in the garden, excited about having so many kids around her and exploring what there was all to see.
Good, everything is settled then. she joined the kids at the pool. she jumped in, holding Laila in her arms. Adham located them immediately and joined. he jumed in, knowing that Mummy will catch him for sure. he hugged her and smiled back when she got him.


Kids, lunch is ready.
they hurried to her, sat down where she placed the table. ate, talked, laughed all at same time.
Adham and Laila were having great time too.
Elhamdollah. Ya rab, give me the strength to make those kids happy, including mine too.

all settled in their dry cloths, they sat waiting for her to join and start telling them a story - as she always does when she visited at the orphanage. this is the part they loved at most. for she always had nice stories to tell. her stories took them to a different world.
Cindrella was her favourite. a story promising happiness to a poor girl.

Time flew so quick, they have to leave now to be home at bed time. they hugged, kissed and thanked her for the sweets, swim, story, food and fun and promised to be good to their teachers.

As she and Adham waved them goodbye, she felt a deep satisfaction and happiness. she was happy to have hosted the kids today at her home, happy that Adham had a nice time, shared with the kids his playstation and toys.

she was grateful for being there for her children, grateful for her husband to have agreed hosting the kids at their home once per month, happy her kids have enjoyed SHARING of their home with others. :)

Later on she showed her husband the pictures, Adham told him great stories, Laila couldnt stop chatting and telling him in her own language about her new friends.

A lovely day has just ended, full of laughter, sunshine, giving and receiving of love.

Satisfied she went to bed. exhausted from the day's event, but grateful for having all those gifts from Allah.

Balqais, Gihane, Mumtaz Mahal or XYZ?

Sometimes we hear the story of a man or a woman who lost his /her soul mate/partner/husband/wife and was never able to commit again. Not any kind of commitment, not a new love, marriage or even dating. Loss of this partner means end of life to the living partner. The so called “one-woman-man”
This kind of love is beautiful, very deep, very special, very dear, very rare, very precious, very fulfilling, very consuming of one’s soul - but also very painful.

Nizar Qabbany never really got over the death of his wife Balqais, lived 17 years lonely in London till he died, still loving her, cherishing their memories and never able to mention her name without tears filling his eyes.”Balqais” one of his most beautiful poems, telling how deep his love to her is rooted in his soul, how empty his soul is after her death:

بلقيس
لا تتغيَّبِي عنّي
فإنَّ الشمسَ بعدكِ
لا تُضيء على السواحِلْ . .
بلقيسُ ..
كيف أخذتِ أيَّامي .. وأحلامي ..
وألغيتِ الحدائقَ والفُصُولْ ..
يا زوجتي ..
وحبيبتي .. وقصيدتي .. وضياءَ عيني ..
قد كنتِ عصفوري الجميلَ ..
فكيف هربتِ يا بلقيسُ منّي ؟..
نامي بحفْظِ اللهِ .. أيَّتُها الجميلَةْ
فالشِّعْرُ بَعْدَكِ مُسْتَحِيلٌ ..
والأُنُوثَةُ مُسْتَحِيلَةْ


"جيجي، كلما غنيت من بعدك ، أبكاني غنائي"
Words found in Halim’s diary, to the only woman he truly loved in his life and actually proposed to, but never married, for she died after a short serious illness.
He never got over her death, never loved any other woman. rumours about his marriage were answered by a sad statement “my heart is buried with her”
he kept her identity for as long as he lived to protect her name and memory. Her name is known through his writings about her and to her.

Taj Mahal or "Crown Palace" – expressing the deep love and pain of Shah Jahan for the loss of his wife Mumtaz Mahal. it is "Not a piece of architecture, as other buildings are, but the proud passions of an emperor’s love wrought in living stones." It is a celebration of woman built in marble and that’s the way to appreciate it."

My question is:
Would you choose to live such a deep, everlasting love story for as long as you shall live, with one single person, never loving someone else if s/he is gone?
Or rather live a normal up & down life with pleasure and sorrow, love or not, with one or more partner?

Would you choose to be Balqais, Gihane, Mumtaz Mahal, Nizar, Halim, or XYZ?