Saturday, May 1, 2010

I miss him so much....

Not counting how many years since he is gone, i lost track of time anyway. but i feel it's been very long since he left, and I am getting impatient.
I dont know why i feel that he will come back. I know he won't. but i still wait for him to come back.
the world has turned into an ugly place since he left.
When people talk, i search for honesty in their words, but know that  mostly they are lieing.
None dares to be honest, they are all cowards.
people arround me use big words, while they are nothing but shallow figures
haven't seen acting in a proud way since ever
A song has no deep feelings any more
Language has turned into a superficial usage of words lined together. no depth or imaginary.
I close my eyes and fly to his world, to escape the one i live in.
I say his words to feel beauty on my lips
I listen to his recorded interviews to feel him there
I read his poems to feel warm, to reconnect with my soul
i read his poems every night before falling asleep to feel some warmth in me.

I miss the passion, warmth, weakness, honesty, openness, beauty, tenderness, strength, love, creativity, life- i miss all what he gave.
I miss him so much
I miss Nizar Qabbany so much.
I know he will not come back.
I know he is dead
But i miss him so much
And hope his soul rests in peace with his beloved wife Belqais

2 comments:

  1. Hi Hebba, you are right, Nazar words are so touching and penetrate you to the depth of your feelings. Sometimes u feel that this is no longer the right time or the right world for his poems, but as soon as u read them , u straight away surrunder al your concerns. I know an old grandma from Alex who lives in sheffield long time ago. Everytime i go to masr, i ask her if she needs anything from masr. she says bring me more books of Nazar , and nothing but Nazar ! she enjoys him indefintely.

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  2. check my status over FB every day.
    i use his poems as status. thign else.
    i miss him so much.
    and i read his poems to find the way back to myself :)
    glad u enjoy him.
    and kiss this lady for me

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