Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I am sorry

I want to apologize to you for the pain i caused you.
i have been stupid as usual, and did the mistake that hurt you.

i am sorry, i shouldn't have tried to keep you alive. it was far more better to let you die and save you this pain over the years.
you were right every time you screamed at me to let you go, leave this world and go. and i was stupid and blind. stupid to acknowledge that you don't belong here and blind to see what was around me.
you are different than all around you, i should have foreseen the hell you'd be going through if you stayed. but i was blind. my only excuse is i wanted you to be happy. i had the hope that one day you will be rewarded and finally find your happiness.
i am sorry. i shouldn't have put you through this. i should have let you go. i should have listened to reason.
I cant turn back the clock to save you from all the pain you have gone through, but all i can do is to let you die, hoping you'd rest in peace.

you are free to go now, i wont hold you.

i will not stop you from dieing.

you have been very dear to me,

please forgive me before you die- my heart.


  1. do u think it's fair to let your heart die? even though it's broken, it's never the solution to let it die. the injury will heal someday, but don't sentence death to the love and care you can give to others.

  2. this part NEEDS to die. it has been suffering for very long now.time to rest.
    others will not even notice it died, anyway none noticed it. :)

  3. your heart is your soul, it is the most beautiful part Rabena granted us, just give it the chance to breath. it will bring the hope and the faith, because they are planted very deep inside it, they always florish when we need them , even after sometime of pain.

  4. hi sanaa
    thx for stopping by.
    i used to believe in what you have written, but now is the time to let it die - rest in peace.
    my friends will find me the same person, only part of it needs to die.
    i am sorry for it, but i have no other choice

  5. Since I know exactly how you feel, i shall sound weird supporting you on this.
    Since life changes so fast.
    Since people are no longer good by nature.
    Since humans around tend to abuse that pure piece of heart we all have...It shall die.We will be way much better.
    Most of us find it weird what other people do as reactions.You most of the time can't understand the cruelty of a one or carelessness of another.Or who people are so materialistic or non-emotional.All those thoughts you get.All those feelings that overwhelm you, cause your suffering.Cause that tiny piece your holding on dry out.Sometimes you have to give in.At least on the outside,to be happy.To sleep at night.That part needs to die.However,be aware it will grow out one day.You can't get rid of it for good.So make sure as it starts growing again,you know when and how to use it and to whom you shall show it.

  6. thx neisy for your support.
    the part which needs to die is the one which was mostly abused.
    the part i have saved for my friends will continue being there. i can not turn to a monster. never hated anyone or hurt anyone.
    but this sentimental part of my heart needs to die. kefaya kedah