Sunday, February 13, 2011


i never asked myself why I love my country. I just found myself loving my life here for the past 35 years, since I was at school and got to learn what home and country means in one's life.
at my german school i got to learn how to love my country and how to keep it at it's best:: serving it, working to make it better, making it part of my personality, part of who I am.

Throughout the past 20 years I lived in Masr believing my happiness is just few steps away, I only have to move towards it to reach it. I never lost hope. was positive that it would come.
one day it would come.
one day I will wake up finding my happiness, my life would settle in a new phase of change, where I would be able to enjoy my life, after long years of working hard to make this happiness.
hard 12 years passed at school with me having good grades.
4 years at colleage, my biggest dream coming closer.
19 years of continous working in corporate life.
when I saw a light, promising me of happiness for as long as I shall live - I was confronted with a truth I didn't pay attention to : You are too old now. You have expired.what you are hoping for now is not made for you.

First time in my life I wanted to leave.
I applied for immigration. Canada, Australia, and New Zealand.
For the first time in my life I didn't find place for me in my home.
I saw it eyes of many Egyptians: I am expired and should leave.
not leave the country, leave life and go else where.
All my applications were refused for officially an unknown reason.
but i knew the reason.
as egyptian citizen I was regarded as someone coming from "third world", most probably won't add value to a developed "first world" country like any of the above.

Today, after the revolution of 25th of January 2011, I am hoping I would have a respected "personality" infront of those governments and would be granted the immigration to any of them.
as much as I am proud of my young people, who lead this revolution,
as much as I am grateful to them to giving me hope of a new life anywhere "outside" my home
as much as it hurts like hell that almost everyone here looks at me as "expired" - when I still could give so much,
I would have loved to live in Masr.

If anyone in Masr reads this, please give others the chance to live.
think twice before hurting someone with this stupied idea of "you are too old". a human being never expires as you think. every person has his/her own value that would to life here.
In your young years don't label others with this ugly judgement "too old to live & to have a dream".
Thank you for spreading this concept among your "young" friends".

an old lady of 42 years.


  1. Hebba .. Dear Hebba,
    This squeezed my heard begad!!
    I almost cried .. believe me I do care about you hun and I can feel the pain that you might be going through.. although, -le2asaf- I can't take your pain so that you start to feel better :(

    This might not be the best phase of your life.. you might loose some dreams of yours.. but you have to know that if Allah has not given you what you have wanted, it's because he has kept something better for you.. believe in it!

    I wish you the best of all my dear and I'll be always there for you.. May I always see you happy :)

  2. hey, that is so kind said.
    I know how much you care, dear. and i do the same for you too.just be sure of that.
    and i am happy to have a wonderful sister like you. begad. :)
    pray for me to find a country to go to and start another life there.this is what you can do for me.
    and this is also what i hope Allah saves for me to compensate the lost years ago :)))))
    Germany masalan, or Switzerland. WOW lifetime chocolate eating :)))))

  3. don't you want to give the country a chance after all what happened?

  4. it is not the country ya zou.
    this time it is not the regime, the ministers nor the military.
    it is just people personal thinking way. and you can not change that by a political revolution. it needs a change in how you raise your child with no narrow minded thinking way and stupid thoughts.
    this would take generations to happen, and there is no generations in my life to waste.
    wish me luck in my search for another home. i so much need it :)