Today i can "see" that what i considered a "loss" was actually a "stopping" of a bigger loss over the long run.
but a very strange feeling i have.
i am not "happy" to find out i escaped a bigger loss. i still feel sad. deep down there is a sadness and a bitterness i can not explain.
i know it will fade with time
i know i will feel better tomrrow morning, when my nephew comes to visit.
i know i will forget about this post.
but right now, i feel a deep sadness that i can not overcome, nor explain, and that i will have to bear for the rest of the night.