since quiet some time i have been experiencing a change that was surprising, even to me.
it is a change in my perception of "words", or let me say love words in specific. be it in a poem or a song, article, book or whatever.
words expressing love or loving feelings have turned to be a sequence of letters forming a word, that has a specific meaning- aiming to touch one's soul/feelings/heart.
they DO have a meaning known to me.
but they don't touch me as before.
very strange feeling.
i still of course love Nizar's poems.
still love Halim's songs
still "sing" to myself often like i used to.
the change i feel is like these words have a meaning that is soooo far away from me.from my soul, heart and even ears.
I love these words because Halim sang them
because Nizar wrote them
I can trace the feeling behind these words and identify what they describe.
but i don't feel them.
as if i have never felt any of these feelings.
as if i am far away from being touched by any of them.
as if i am surrounded with a protecting shell - wathcing "these words" from behind it.
A very strange change, that i am so much welcoming.
The new me is different, yet the same.
I am not making any sense. or maybe I am?