Award time

My dear friend, living accross the globe Barry from "Life in Quotations" gave me the "Super Comments Award".

Since i came across his blog by accident, i found myself attracted to his writings. they are simply "simple". by being personal writings saying very much about what he thinks or feels. for many it might not be somehting fancy or big- but for me his writings have always touched me, because they come from his heart and went directly to mine.
Barry, thank you so much for the award. you know how much your friendship means to me, how much i appreciate the way you listen to me, and the way your support at one of the darkest moments of my life made me feel "human" again.
thank you for being my friend :)))))

Here are the rules:
•Thank the person who nominated you.
•Post the award in your blog.
•Link to the person who gave it to you.
•Answer 10 questions that come with the award.
•Nominate of few of your favorite bloggers.

Here goes:
1. Why do you blog?
I am used to writing my thoughts and feelings on word document and save them on the MSN skydrive. never thought of sharing them.
then Ze2red came with the idea that i should blog. i instantly refused. i have nothing to say. what i write is pure personal and wouldn't interest anyone to read.
one day I was calling my teacher and found him ill. he talked about death and that it might be time for him to leave here and rest elsewhere. we kept talking and me teasing him and we laughing as usual.
when i hang up, i realized that i had soemthing to say to the whole world. it is very personal, but i wanted the whole world to read it. i want to tell the whole world about this man.
i started to write and kept the document as usual, TILL I CREATE A BLOG.
all i had in mind was him. the blog's name referred to him, the aim was his request and the first post went to him.
when everything was ready, i called him, explained the idea and read the first post to him.
he was extremely happy, and i felt like flying at the 7th sky for making him happy like that.
he asked me to keep writing and keep the aim of the blog "keep the kindness, Hebba"


2. What are your 3 best memories?

- my very first working day. i felt that my independence is complete.
- when I saw Bernd again in 2004, after 17 years of his leaving Egypt. Back then i was happy to see him again, spend some time as a grown up woman, knowing that i might not see him ever again.
- my school days starting from grade 9. every moment passed during those 3 years has a very special meaning for me. even hard days of exams, bad days of results. even the cruel days of 12th grade. i hold those memories very close to my heart :)
3. If you had to change your real name what would you change it to?

Mariam.
I love this name. no specific reason. i just love it
4. What are five things you can't live without?

love
music
books
passion
Family/friends

5. What are the 4 best books you've ever read?
- Tueasdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
- The Promise (Danielle Steel)
- Nizar Qabbany's poems
- Literature written after the 2nd World war
- "Nachts schlafen die Ratten doch" a short story for Wolfgang Borchert

6. Tell me something unique and interesting about yourself.

I love to dance. never practiced. but would love to learn different dances one day.


7. What do you love best about yourself?

my soft heart. All i know is i dont want it to harden, that's why i am trying to keep it safe from getting hurt.
8. What is the best movie ever made?

For me they are 2, which i can't live without- and cant resist watching, whenever possible:
- The Promise
- You've got mail
9. If you had a "Freaky Friday" experience who would you trade places with and why?

A mother of 6 children.
I adore kids, always wished to have 12 kids- or even more.
10. What's the best part about being a woman?

This is what I am trying to find out till now :))))

 I'm giving this 'Super Comments Award'
- Ibhog
- Rawanies
- Ze2red
- Neisy ( i know Barry already awarded you :))
- Cindy

Mirror

You- as parent- are the first and most important mirror your child would get to see itself in.
Please reflect only the positives, and treat the negatives wisely.
your child needs your support to grow up and gain self confidence. if it is missing, your child would never get over this lack.
no matters at which age, our parents are the most important supporter and admirer we would ever have. their appreciation of who we are, and what we are trying to achieve is the most important goal we would have in life.
their love and admiration are the most important success factor we would ever want to see.

Please be careful of what you reflect to your child.
it is your opinion which really matters- all the time, till the end.

surprise...surprise

Kareem is up to something. i can see it in his eyes.
they dont shine and smile this way, unless he is up to something.
when he left about 2 hours ago, he was in hurry and wouldnt say where he is going. it's friday. he rarely goes out alone on a friday. it's our day.

just finished lunch, changed and looking out: here he drives in.
i go meet him, like i used to do when he comes home.

"close your eyes and ears"
"eyes, ok. but ears? why?"
"just do it"
i did. closed my eyes and plugged my fingers into my ears.
after about 2 minutes i feel him coming closer to me, kissing my cheek and taking away my fingers from my ears. i automatically open my eyes.

its music. unfamiliar to me. then Kazem starts singing.
hey, this is the new album?
"yes, love"
" didnt know it is released. thought it would be after 2 weeks."
"this is a special edition for you,sweetheart."
he held me, kissing my cheek " it is good to have connections, you know. i know the producer. he promised it a while ago.this morning he called and said i could pick it up. so here you go. enjoy, love"

I held him back, very tight.
"it is good to have a loving husband.no connections needed here"

I love… (Tagged)

Another game and i’m tagged in. yessssssssssss two tags in one month :))).
That’s a fun i started to love.
Here Ze2red tagged me to list down ten things I love and then tag another 10 people. So here we go:

I love …

1. My teacher, Bernhard Schmidt.i can't get enough of talking wiht him, teasing him, disussing God and the world with him, singing old songs, listening to his adventures and music, to his old stories.
I am grateful to have him.

2. Sea, beach, waves (moderate height tab3an), the smell of it, the tender touch of sand, the playful way waves caress my feet when i walk.

3. Chocolate. I can't have enough of its bitter-sweet taste, melting in my mouth very slowly.

4. Having/making friends.i am a people person. i miss having my friends around me, talking to them, communicating with them, seeing them if possible. my friends are very dear to me, i choose them very carefully. and those who i call "friends" stand in the closest circle to me, and really know me very well.

5. Music. i love different singers, kinds of music, enjoy it in different languages. if someone checks the list of songs i have on my mobile to listen to whereever i am, none will be able to define my taste. simply, because i love any song which captures my heart. could be because of the singer, lyrics, music, anything.

6. reading. i love to read. love to gain knowledge in general, hate to read in politics but try to be updated. but novels and poems capture my heart. they are my real passion in reading. with any of the languages i understand. they just take me away from my present and transform me into the world where they tell. i am part of this world and remain there until i am trough with reading the book/poem.
reading activates my imagination. it gives me the chance to draw the scenes in my mind, watch it happen, imagine how ppl look like, how places are, etc. Magic!

7. movies. I love movies, old or new, with any language i can understand. i watch movies as if they are real, react to each scene, cry/smile according to happenings, enjoy happy ends, hate it when the hero dies, hate horor and action movies. they increase my heartbeat until it really hurts.

8. photographing. i love takeing photos of my family, friends, scenes, surroundings, anything that captures my eye and i develop a liking for it. it could be a simple scene on the street, but i just love it. that's why my first criteria in choosing my mobile set was the camera resolution. mobiles with good cameras are more handy than moving around wiht a camera in my pocket.

9. Kids. i love kids.just adore being around them.touching them, dealing wiht them, talking if possible, hugging if the child is family or friend, playing iwht them, and often often just spoiling them. spoiling in the sense of teasing them wiht some funny gestures, but i dont spoil them with bad behaviour. i love telling them stories, singing with them, feeding them. just being around. they purify my world.

10. dogs (big german shephered). "wish to have a dog" is my phone name, my nick name over msn, often my status over FB. dogs are loyal, funny, warm and tender creatures. they develop a deep love and acceptance of their friends. they make me feel loved, cared for, protected, warm and accepted. i love to hug a dog. i feel that when it rubs its face at my shoulder it hugs me back-giving a warmth i can not compare to anything else.

time to tag 10 friens. i dont have 10 friends, guess most of them Zou has already tagged.

- Rawanie
- Neisy
- Ibhog
- Barry ( i know he is extremely busy :(

Dreaming.....

Dreaming of a better tomorrow, when I feel trapped in my today.
Dreaming of love, when I miss it in my life.
Dreaming of kindness, when others are cruel and mean to me.
Dreaming of sun's warmth and shine, when I am buried in cold and ugly surroundings.
Dreaming of laughter, when my tears silently roll down my cheeks every night.
Dreaming of happiness, when i can't remember last time i felt content.
Dreaming of flowers, while going through my deserted path in life.
Dreaming of life, when people around me see me as a dead person.
Dreaming of honesty, when my ears are showered with lies.
Dreaming of hope, when i feel just "hopeless"
Dreaming of success, when someone tells me how a mess I am.
Dreaming of a life as a human being, when someone treats me as a rock.

I will never stop dreaming.

It is the only weapon that none can take away from me
It is the only way for not to be beaten.
My dreams keep me alive.Those who don't dream, are the dead ones :)

I dream of the day, when...... (by Abdel Halim Hafez)

I dream, and dream and dream
hopefully my dreams would come true
hopefully they will become true in every single minute
I dream of the day when everyone would talk only in a kind way
I dream of the day when none gets ever hurt
I dream of the day when everyone's life path is only filled by everlasting happiness
I dream of the day when future brings only happiness and joy to all humans
I dream of the day when I see it with my own eyes how life pays back those who were badly hurt
I dream of the day when I see lost, lonly hearts have finally found their happiness
I dream of the day when I see everyone found a home for his heart.
I dream of the day when I see those whose hopes were shattered, finally find back their smiles
I dream of the day when I see this whole world is enlightend by happiness shine
I dream of the day when I see an everlasting, shining fullmoon.

Fun day :)

its the kids Fun day at school today. a friday as usual.
Kareem usually keeps an eye over his laptop for urgent business matters, yet stays home for the weekend. today this will be hard to keep, if he would join the kids in their activities :)))

pushing the door open, both of them run to their sleeping father waking him up with squizes, kisses, hugs and evn holding his nose (Mariam's favourite gesture)
daddy, its funday. wake up.
a pair of sleepy eyes opened and looking at me: isn't it still early?
no. you have to get up :)

Driving to their school, they were thrilled. singing, teasing eachother, teasing their daddy and just chatting.the atmosphere was fun. a good start of the day so far.
Kareem was whistling melody of our favourtie song, and i found myself just wanting to sing. i sang the words to the melody he is whisteling.he looked at me and send me a kiss in the air :)

the whole school is decorated with colored paper and flowers. many stands offering different entertainment thigs for the kids: face painting, card games, vidoe games, snacks, ice cream, juices, funny accessories for girls, etc.

each class has prepared a small show to present infront of parents and teachers throughout the day.
Adham's class is no. 5 in row. they prepared a short play. he is so secretive about it. refused to tell me what it is about. only asked to borrow a tie from his father. Kareem gave him his favourite blue silk one. i was surprised of his choice.
Mariam's class prepared a song for Sayed Darwish "el 7elwa dih".she ran to her join her class at behind the stage to get prepared.
on time, the teacher announced the song, the curtain opens showing the girls & boys standing in 2 rows.
music started and they started to sing.they sang first part all together, then music. then to my surprise Mariam stepped ahead of her row to sing the second part-just few words- solo.
Kareem and myself were suprised to hear our little girl singing alone, and watching her standing bravely on her own, head lifted up and sooo confident of herself.
she has her daddy's character, i whisper to Kareem. he leaned towards me whispering back "and her momy's charm" holding my hand and slightly squizeeing it.
as they finished, me and Kareem rushed to her. she came running into her daddy's arms into a big hug. I joined in the hug, we both kissed her.
"sweety, that was lovely" he said kissing her.
"i am good daddy? thank you. i kept practicing because i wanted you to see me good"
Go on, change your cloths and lets have some fun, i said. she ran off.

Adham was playing football with his friends. we waved to him that we are going to the face painting booth. Kareem chose to pain a lion face, Mariam chose a butterfly, i chose a bird's face.
nose is yellow,rst of my face is blue, green and yellow. Momy, you look funny-said Mariam.
it is funday sweetheart :)))
we moved to another booth, Adham joining. he and Kareem played some shooting. Kareem won a soft teddy.good shooter :)
we checked some other booths, the kids got some snacks and juices, till it was time for Adham to join his class for preparation.

He disappeared behind the stage and once more we were seated waiting for our son and his role :)
the class imitated a school day. stage is prepared to look like a classroom, kids are seated and waiting for the teacher to start. Adham came in standing infront of them playing the teacher's role. from his words, the kids should guess which one of their teachers is he doing after.
now, that is crazy AND funny.
i looked to Kareem and found him with a bright smile.what is it?
"this was my favourite game at school. mimicking teachers and my colleagues guessing who it is. it was my idea, you know, when he asked me"
ohhhhhhhh - was all i could say :)
Adham is a good actor. his colleagues had fun guessing and asking questions- while he kept the serious face of the teacher.

after the play, handing over the tie to his father, he asked "daddy, was i like you"
"absolutely, champ" looking at them, junior one was glooming from happiness, senior one was proud of his junior "picture"
"why can't i get enough from loving you?" i whispered to Kareem while we are moving.
"maybe because i still have so much to give you, 7abibty"

we checked some more boothes till it was time to leave.
on the way back Mariam sang again, while Adham kept interrupting her with his stories.
kareem and myself were quiet. listening to them and just enjoying their laughter.

they are finally in bed, still too excited to sleep, but they will in a while. i kissed them good night and went to check on Kareem.
he is sitting in the living room watching the video we made today, and silently smiling to himself.
just looking at him and at the screen showing our kids made my heart heavy with love and happiness. I am blessed with a wonderful husband and my kids with the best dad.

El7amdollah 3ala ne3metak ya rab :)

Stop

Stop lieing
Stop pretending
stop the false behaviour
stop showing false feelings
I don't believe any of it anymore
so don't bother.
It's not worth it anymore