لَا يُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفۡسًا إِلَّا وُسۡعَهَا‌ۚ لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتۡ وَعَلَيۡہَا مَا ٱكۡتَسَبَتۡ‌ۗ رَبَّنَا لَا تُؤَاخِذۡنَآ إِن نَّسِينَآ أَوۡ أَخۡطَأۡنَا‌ۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تَحۡمِلۡ عَلَيۡنَآ إِصۡرً۬ا كَمَا حَمَلۡتَهُ ۥ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبۡلِنَا‌ۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تُحَمِّلۡنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِۦ‌ۖ وَٱعۡفُ عَنَّا وَٱغۡفِرۡ لَنَا وَٱرۡحَمۡنَآ‌ۚ أَنتَ مَوۡلَٮٰنَا فَٱنصُرۡنَا عَلَى ٱلۡقَوۡمِ ٱلۡڪَـٰفِرِينَ
البقرة،٢٨٦

يا الهي دعوتك كما علمتني و كلي أمل في اجابتك

يا الهي تعلم ما في نفسي فأعني عليه، فاني ضعيفة بغير عونك

يا الهي  ان كان هذا قضاؤك فإني راضية، صابرة، محتسبة أجري عندك و لا أبالي

و ان كان بما كسبت يداي، فإنك العادل و لك الحمد و الشكر على عدلك

يا إلهي أنت حسبي ووكيلي و عوني على دنياي، فأعني على ضعف نفسي

يا الهي لا أرجو سواك، فاقبلني فيمن قبلت من عبادك الأوابين

اللهم أنت ربي لا اله الا أنت، خلقتني و أنا عبدك و أنا على عهدك و وعدك ما أستطعت. أعوذ بك من شر ما صنعت و أبوء لك بنعمتك علي و أبوء بذنبي فاغفر لي فانه لا يغفر الذنوب الا أنت

و أخر دعوانا أن الحمد لله رب العالمين و الصلاة و السلام على أشرف المرسلين سيدنا محمد و على آله و صحبه أجمعين

An Mich

Meine liebe Hebba
Hier wende ich mich zum ersten Mal direkt an dich, weil ich dich wirklich liebe.
Hoer mal zu, mein Maedchen.denke darueber nach, und mach dich dann auf den Weg hinaus aus diesem Komplex.
Deine Traeume sind mir auch wichtig. Du darfst sie auf keinem Fall aufgeben. Sie sind einen Teil von dir, von deiner Seele und deinem Dasein.
Aber sie passen leider nicht in diese Welt.Sie sind zu gut, zu reinig, zu menschlich.Niemand wird sie verstehen, und niemend wird es dir erlauben sie zu haben.Sie werden Dir nicht einmal Traeume erlauben.
Dies bedeutet aber nicht dass du keinen recht auf Traeume hast.zum Gegenteil. du bist Mensch, du bist gut, du bist Frau.Du hast RECHT auf Traeume.Nur gebe ich dir einen Tip:versteck deine Traeume ins blaue Box.
Dort sind sie sicher aufbewahrt.Dort kann sie dir niemanden wegnehmen.Dort steckt einen Teil deiner Seele.

Zusammen, Du und ich, werden deine Traeume eins nach dem anderen "sehen", erleben, uns darueber freuen und der Welt sagen "hey, ich bin doch Mensch.Niemand kann mir das wegnehmen"

Freue dich auf diese Episoden.Bringe dadrin alles was dein Herz sich wuenscht. DU BIST DEN WERT.
auch wenn andere dir anders sagen.
Pass auf dich selbst gut auf.
Hebba

A wife's day off

Today is my "day off" from family life.
Kareem will take care of the kids for the next 17 hours, and I am free to go and do whatever I wish.
I wished to just lying lazy anywhere, gazing in nothing, emptying my mind from everything.
I want to do something special. only i don't know what!!!!!
spend the day at the spa.
good idea.
go for a short trip.
sounds fun.
meet with friends over lunch somewhere luxury.
let me think about it.
go get yourself an extraordinary outfit. hasen't Kareem promised to take care of the expenses :))
not in the mood of shopping.
go for a long drive into the desert road, enjoy the empty space and fresh, sandy wind.
hmmm, not bad.

I can't make up my mind for any of these treats. maybe I need someone to take the decision for me.shall i call Kareem? of course not. he won't stop teasing me about it!!!!!

Wowwww.got that wonderful idea. thought about it for couple of minutes and made up my mind.

couple of hours later I was driving into the house entrance, wearing my hair in different coulor and a new haircut. I love the way i look like. somehow i needed the change.
Now, how would they react?

I pushed the door bell, not using my keys, to complete the surprise :)

Adham came running as usual screaming "who is it?" not waiting for a reply rather opening the door immediately :)))
"Mommy" he screamd and throw his arms around my neck. i held him kissing his rosy cheeks.
Kareem and Mariam appeared coming from the kitchen direction, rather not believing what they heard.

"you are early back" said Kareem before noticing my hair. then "wow" escaped his lips followed by a kiss on my cheeks." or you'd change and go out again?"

"No, I am staying. we are baking a family size pizza and watch Dumbo afterwards"
Heeee, poured Adham.Mommy, I will chop tomato and pepper.ok?
"sweetheart, you do me a big big favour and prepare the Dumbo-tape into the DVD. this is very important to me." he was proud of his important role,knowing how much i adore that movie.

Kareem and Mariam followed me to the kitchen. we worked on the pizza for an hour or so, then both of them offered to clean the kitchen.
Adham came running" Mommy, everything is ready. what else?"
"oh, the most important task ever.please taste a bite for me and tell me how it is"
he took a bite, filling his mouth, chewing it slowly "lovely mom. can I have a big slice?"

Everyone got his plate, we sat down in the living room.Adham put the tape into move, smiling at me.
After the movie the kids started their 'going into bed" rituals, then slept.

While I was combing my hair, Kareem asked me "why did you come home so quick? shouldn't you spend the day relaxing?"

I looked up at him, smiling and said what i exactely felt:
"you and the kids are what I really want in this life.when I thought about having fun, the 3 of you popped up in my head, and I smiled finding the answer"

"you know what" he whispered, "I love you so much" and held me very tight.
I closed my eyes, smileing and enjoying the warmth.

Just for today

Just for today: remember me.

Old & new Egyptian National Anthem

i came across these 2 egyptian national anthems used in two different decades of the egyptian history.
hearing them, they awake in me 2 feelings, which i have missed for very long time:
- my old school days, when we used to sing them every morning for "ta7eyat el 3alam"
- my love for my country, where i was born, lived and have so many memories.

the old one used 1923 and 1936



The currently used one

Allah's gift

Today I came across a family, who has been blessed with a mongolian child. the boy is about 17 years old, acting like a child of 3 or 4 years.
as I was looking at them while they walk past me, I found myself praying for them, may Allah give them the strength to cope with him, grant them with power to love him and care for him.
and i also found myself thanking Allah for not putting me in such a harsh situation. I adore children, always wished to have a dozen of my own.But I don't know if i would ever be able to cope with such a child, without me breaking down for seeing my child live this life.
Allahoma lak elhamd.

I also thanked Allah for giving me a healthy nephew. it is one of his gifts and blessings I would never be able to thank him enough for it.
Allahoma lak elhamd.

Today I saw with my own eyes the meaning of "be greatful for what you have and what is kept away from you".
Allahoma lak elhamd

Dreams...

If you want to remain always happy,
Always perfect and always fulfilled,
Then always keep inside your heart
A pocketful of sweet dreams.
Sri Chinmoy
Indian Philosopher and Teacher

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.
Robert Fulghum

I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires.
Kahlil Gibran

There will always be dreams grander or humbler than your own, but there will never be a dream exactly like your own...For you are unique and more wondrous than you know!
Linda Staten

Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
Dale E. Turner

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Only as high as I reach can I grow,
Only as far as I seek can I go,
Only as deep as I look can I see,
Only as much as I dream can I be.
Karen Ravn

A man's dreams are an index to his greatness.
Zadok Rabinwitz

Believe in love. Believe in magic. Believe in Santa Claus. Believe in others. Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. If you don't, who will?
Jon Bon Jovi

Wooden Bowls

when i first read this story, it made me cry.it reminded me of my father at his last days, when he couldn't hold anything.
then i smiled, remembering his warm smile when we came for help.
he was such a tough patient, however he heartly enjoyed the intensive attention of his 4 ladies :)

A frail old man lived with his son, his daughter-in-law, and his four-year-old grandson. His eyes were blurry, his hands trembled, and his step faltered.
The family would eat together nightly at the dinner table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating rather difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon, drooping to the floor. When he grasped his glass of milk, it often spilled clumsily at the tablecloth.

With this happening almost every night, the son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.
"We must do something about grandfather," said the son.
"I've had enough of his milk spilling, noisy eating and food on the floor," the daughter-in-law agreed.
So the couple set a small table at the corner.

There, grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed their dinner at the dinner table. Since grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in wooden bowls. Sometimes when the family glanced in grandfather's direction, he had a tear in his eye as he ate alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening, before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly: "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy replied, "Oh, I'm making a little bowl for you and mama to eat your food from when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

These words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears streamed down their cheeks. Though no words were spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening, the husband took grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table.

For the remainder of his days, grandfather ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk was spilled or the table cloth was soiled.

With very special thanks to our friend Catherine Cruz for sharing this story with us.

جُبنٌ ألا تختاري

إني خيرتُكِ فاختاري
ما بينَ الموتِ على صدري أو فوقَ دفاترِ أشعاري
إختاري الحبَّ.. أو اللاحبَّ  فجُبنٌ ألا تختاري
لا توجدُ منطقةٌ وسطى  ما بينَ الجنّةِ والنار
إرمي أوراقكِ كاملةً وسأرضى عن أيِّ قرارِ
قولي. إنفعلي. إنفجري  لا تقفي مثلَ المسمار
لا يمكنُ أن أبقى أبداً  كالقشّةِ تحتَ الأمطارِ
إختاري قدراً بين اثنينِ وما أعنفَها أقداري..

مُرهقةٌ أنتِ.. وخائفةٌ وطويلٌ جداً.. مشواري
غوصي في البحرِ.. أو ابتعدي ..لا بحرٌ من غيرِ دوارِ..
الحبُّ مواجهةٌ كبرى إبحارٌ ضدَّ التيارِ
صَلبٌ.. وعذابٌ.. ودموعٌ ورحيلٌ بينَ الأقمارِ

يقتُلني جبنُكِ يا امرأة تتسلى من خلفِ ستارِ
إني لا أؤمنُ في حب لا يحملُ نزقَ الثوار
لا يكسرُ كلَّ الأسوارِ لا يضربُ مثلَ الإعصارِ..
آهٍ.. لو حبُّكِ يبلعُني ...يقلعُني.. مثلَ الإعصارِ..

إنّي خيرتك.. فاختاري
ما بينَ الموتِ على صدري أو فوقَ دفاترِ أشعاري
لا توجدُ منطقةٌ وسطى  ما بينَ الجنّةِ والنّارِ

beautiful dream

Last night i had a dream of you. it's been quite some time since i had you in my dreams.
it was a beautiful one. just like all other dreams. just like you.
You were there, talking to me, we were laughing and singing and walking together.
your eyes are still the same as i remember them, shining with enthusiasm, smiling at me, clear, brown, transparent-showing me your soul. i still remeber your laughter when i first told you how i see your eyes. you laughed loud and kept teasing me till i got mad at you.
you were there.everything i remember of you. your hands, watch, clothes, fragrance, your "self", the way "you" are. everything about you is just the very same.
you were real. you were talking to me. i still hear your voice.still hear the words you were saying.
in my dream you were exactely how i remember you. your soul.
you were that tender, warm and caring person ou used to be with me. that never changes.
i never understood how others could accuse you of being heartless.
you were that little boy i always saw popping out of your eyes, teasing me in the most childish yet funny way i could ever see.
in my dream you were my shield, just like old days.i never knew any fear when you were at my side.my only fear was not loving you enough.
the memory of you is still so vivid. are you really gone?
when i woke up this morning, i could feel your breaths around me.

I stopped counting time, since we last talked. I don't know anymore how long you have been gone. and i don't care about time passing anyway.

I know you didn't forget me, because i never did. i never questioned your feelings as much as you trusted mine. we didnt really talk but both of us knew exactely what we mean to eachother.no words needed.
I know you still listen to that song.just like I do.
and I know you still wear blue. just like I do.
and i know you still work hard and long until you drop asleep anywhere, just like you know i never complained from you being busy.
i know how important your business is to you, just like you know how proud i am of you.

I know you will never read those words. I never told you about this blog.
I know that if you got to read my words one day, you will know that it is you.

I am waiting for you in the next dream.just don't stay away very long.